Bringing Up Children in a Stressful World

BY SHERIE SCHMAUDER
CONTRIBUTING Writer

Not only do working parents have problems caring for their children, but they have to do it in a world fractured by war, terrorism, global illness, and predictions of doom. Two books focus on these problems. One of them, Succeeding As a Super Busy Parent, by Natalie R. Gahrmann, gives us a list of 75 Practical Tips for Balancing Life, Love, Kids, and Career (Infinity Publishing, 2002). That is a challenge, and Gahrmann, a writer, success coach, speaker, business owner and parent rises to the occasion with some success.

Most of these 75 tips are practical and very usable. "Evaluate your life," she says, simplify your life, create independent children, eliminate obstacles, and celebrate fife. But right at the beginning she suggests keeping a journal, something I never had time to do with four children under the age of seven, or even under 10. Some of her suggestions are too time consuming even if the results would be helpful. But if you are in a frantic hurry, as most parents are, you can always focus on her favorite top 10 tips and go from there.

Other ideas are very helpful. "List three big projects, tasks, or commitments and determine a date by which you will eliminate them." These projects could be a messy garage or basement, a report to write, a fundraiser to which you are committed. The key is not to immediately fill up that time with another commitment. Good advice.

Another good feature of 75 Practical Tips is the list of recommended books to read on each facet of your life makeover. At the end of the book is a comprehensive list of helpful. websites. Inspiring quotes make good points, as are her seven keys to success.

Some of Gahrmann's book is a little repetitious, and again, some advice is not doable with small children. Daily time for a mother with small children? Hard. But complete one small home task each weekend? Rewarding. Get rid of the "ought to's"? Another good idea, but how do you get rid of guilt at leaving your children to work full time, even if you must? Achieve financial independence when you have children? Another difficult task. But being fully present and focused when you are with your children is certainly a good goal.

Some of her tips are only common sense, but it's a good idea to go over them all to remember those you've forgotten are so necessary in a family.

A great idea is to have a once a month "do nothing day." Just cocoon together, no projects, no telephone, no friends. The section on balancing work life is a bit more idealistic and not as specific as other sections.

Gahrmann's discussion on transitioning back to work after a birth is helpful. Best of all, she reminds us to stop overworking and to stop sacrificing our lives to the office.